Oh yeah, on another note, I wish Hida's bro a big happy birthday, and to my handsome nephew too. I love you guys!
thought out by marianah at 10:47 AM
I had a quiet Saturday.
It wasn't slow, but somehow it was rather soothing. It was a sleepy afternoon, and Imran and me argued again about something silly..
Was supposed to meet Shai, Farah and Ravin in the afternoon, but was sadly called up by what I call unecessary work. We'll meet up Monday yeah guys.
And next week I'm supposed to meet my old sarip gang cos Nashie aka Sunshine is going away to Ozzie for studies. I need to catch up with them big time, it's been too long.
And I need to call up Sandra soon to meet up with her too, and I feel really terrible for postponing it for almost a month. So sorry Queen Prego. Don't even have the time to go for kickboxing with you.
And I need to call Peishan too, it's been too long as well. The last time I called her up she was down with flu. Poor Twix. I'm sorry for postponing our outing.
I met Zein finally yesterday. Me and Feizha were helping him choose the best gift we could for his friend, and we found a rather spunky but sweet journal book that says something like 'Lights Out!' It's a night time diary. Even comes with a pen that has a light attached to it..ahhaaha.
I had a good talk with Zein yesterday, after Feizha left. I was telling him the change of life phase I was currently going through, and we were somehow trying to figure out the possiblities of what such phase might or will turn out to be. I told him I felt too old to make new friends, and he was just assuring me that what I'm going through isn't at all a bad thing, but just signs of maturing. I told him that instead of feeling matured, I feel old instead. And he's right. Having a friend means sharing a history, and to me the process of sharing a history is quite an ordeal sometimes. The pain, the tears, the laughter, -is all too much of history in the making, and I am exhausted to start it again. Maybe he got it wrong. Maybe he thought I felt unable, or somehow impaired to make new friends because of certain boundaries or fears that might overcome me. But somehow, I actually feel that I don't want to. I know it sounds rather sad, but I'm actually quite satisfied with what I have now. I mean, I know lots and lots of people, but only a handful are friends, I'm sure you know what I mean. We discussed more about things yesterday, but somehow I don't have the energy to write more.
But one thing he said was true -Don't be discouraged by the things around you now. You're only 21, and I know you're tired sometimes. But this shouldn't be the end of it. There really should be more.
I couldn't help but agree..
Thank you God, for blessing me with the greatest people to be around with. I really do treasure them all.
thought out by marianah at 10:42 AM
Ren and Charlie chatting online and making use of my pop-ups. Stop it! It's not for abuse!
thought out by marianah at 7:36 AM
Yes Renwei, I added comment pop-ups. Do feel free to tell me anything you like due to my busy schedule and lack of time to meet most of you up.
How are you Ren? I actually miss you..hehe *shy shy*. Sorry, it's not that I'm pulling myself away from anyone here, but I really am very busy lately with work, and with the film fest coming up. And so far it's not so good. And please do stop bumming around, get youself a proper job. And YOU TOO, Charlie, if u're reading this.
Am supposed to meet Zein up, but unfortunately he has some barbeque event to attend and can only meet up later...I don't want to be home too late, so I told him maybe we could catch Star Wars next week instead. Guess I'll be meeting Feizha only. And I didn't even bring his gift anyway.
Theres hardly anyone here now, cos everyone has left at 4 pm for Star Wars. Ah oh, me and Imran signed up for Big Walk this Sunday, and we were joking that we would probably win if we had joined the competitive division as all we ever do is walk.
Well, looking forward to the weekend.
thought out by marianah at 2:24 AM
Farah Fairy buzzed me in the morning to inform me of the return of the dearly-missed Charlie aka Shaiful,
Haha, it's all gonna be fun, I hope. Ravin even suggested a picnic!
And I'm happy today, cos I'm eating my mummy's yummy spaghetti, I brought my own teabags, there's plenty of refilled sugar at the pantry, I have a good supply of chocolates in my bag, no one bothered me so far, I'm wearing a new red top, and...
It's a FRIDAY!
Hopefully I'll meet Feizha later to hit the stores in search of a new pair of track pants to add to my wardrobe. Something not too expensive, I hope. I've got really bad control when it comes to money. And the 'sale worth waiting for' is back, when I stepped in a packed Robinsons store yesterday. And everything seems to be reaching out to me, begging me to bring them home.
Well, I had a short chat with an old friend... I just thought I'd give him a buzz. Well, things really are changing right now. No offence, but it always seems like a cycle..so maybe it's not after all changing. Everytime there's something new that needs attention, the old ones will be lost suddenly. And when the new starts stirring some waves of discomfort, it's time to dig around the old ones again. Where oh just where has all the faith and friendship pledges gone to, all the times when we would all stick to what we call friends, and have undoubted believes in those chosen few? I'm not angry, nor am I bursting with rage... but I just can't contain my disappointment. We can be alone sometimes, but we shouldn't forget those who had tried to even take an ounce of mess away from our shoulders. Yes, you may be happier this way...but how many times have you claimed so?
Well, I should just stop. I've come to a point where I feel I'm too old to make new friends and try to be cool. My dear friend, I wish you all the best, and thank you for telling me you rather stay that way.
As for the rest who remembers and appreciate what friendship is, we'll meet up soon ya.
thought out by marianah at 11:23 PM
Who do you need?
Who do you love?
When you come undone? -Duran Duran
It's not even 2pm, and I'm getting lazy already.
Dream, the beautiful black persian resident cat is by my side now, sitting and looking ultimately grand and gorgeous by on P's chair.
I miss my Baby. Dream reminds me of Baby. I came home late yesterday night, and he was still not asleep. He was sleepy, with that pitiful eyes and continuous catty yawns, staring quizzically at me. Maybe I've been away for too long, and maybe he's even wondering who am I. But nevertheless, he's such lovely little thing.
Even when I picked him up from that box full of trash nine months ago, wet, hungry and covered with filth, he was still so beautiful.
Gosh, I feel like a soap opera mom talking like this.
thought out by marianah at 11:42 PM
Haha..this cracks me up. Nah, g-string's too much for me. I'm sticking to my thongs.
thought out by marianah at 9:39 PM
I guess it's okay now.
I let it all out. Even though it didn't come voluntarily.
Maybe I was just getting sick of it. I'm just sick of how things are starting to mould into a form of something quite familiar, but not quite likeable.
No, no...that is an understatement. Something not not quite likeable. It's more like something I loathe. Yes, that's more like it.
It's amazing how much effort is required just to explain simple thoughts, simple feelings... - that it's ridiculous.
All you need is just to push all the other forces away, and just fucking do it.
Yes, just do it. Nike was right.
And after all that, at that very moment, that very second, he said the most perfect words anyone could think of. And there was no doubt he meant it. It was so perfect that it's impossible. It's like magic.
And before you knew it, your heart is taken for a floozy, glittery flight.
Could this be the magic at last? -Barry Manilow
thought out by marianah at 9:23 PM
I can't seem to stop eating these chocolate sticks Swee bought.
They're addictive,and even Jie Huey aka Mr. Black can't stop, too.
Anyway, Hafez and I had a pleasant time during dinner at Lau Pa Sat yesterday. It's been a while since I had a long, constructive conversation with anybody. Thanks my bro, I really appreciate it. And you know what, I'm sure someone with a heart like yours will truly be rewarded derservingly. And yesh... do tell me what's the latest developments on our 'friend' aight.
thought out by marianah at 10:57 PM
I forgot to note that Jimi called all the way from Sydney yesterday.
So sweet of him. I almost didn't pick up the call.
He might spend one semester in Japan, I'm not really too sure what he's gonna do, but it sounds fine indeed.
But above all, he sounds happy. He sounds so happy.
I have to admit it is indeed a change from what he was before he left. And that actually made my day.
To Jimi, I wish you well, and ya...this time round well will go for star gazing with Queen Prego Sandra when you come back...and we promise we won't laugh about it! :) I miss you
thought out by marianah at 12:08 AM
I had a pleasant night yesterday.
I finally got to hung out with what's left of the Emobandits.
Well, people change...and I do admit I'm changing, too. Feelings change, but that doesn't have to mean you change your friends as well.
Basically we did what we do best...just having a couple of smokes and conversation. I'm really glad I met them yesterday, though God knows how shagged I was...
Shahreil finally got his money...hah, that was funny. He got even with me though later that night...and tsk, tsk Hafez, I can't believe you had a hand in that. Ah well, we had a good laugh, though.
I guess I have to get back to work before getting trashed again..
thought out by marianah at 9:10 PM
Which Jewel song are you most like? Find out!
thought out by marianah at 9:49 PM
It's just another manic Monday..I wish it was Sunday.
Yes, I wish it was Sunday afternoon. Sun scorching outside, and me on my bed with the windows shut and air-conditioning on.
I've been working on sponsorships for the past weeks, am actually getting bored with it. Hafez's specialist starts today, and somehow I wish I could be there on the shoot. Just like he was there on mine, and we were on others..
I miss the hectic, nerve-wrecking atmosphere of shoots. The toil, the sweat, the laughter, the junk food, the cigarrettes. Times where wearing T-shirts with holes or a worn out pair of jeans won't matter. The days when I have not started learning to use the hairbrush on a regular basis.
I hate talking like this, it makes me feel old, boring, almost wretched. As if the good old days have passed me by, when I actually don't want them to stop.
Hafez, if you're reading this, I really wish you all the best for the specialist ya? Call me sometime, we shall all chill out and celebrate.
And to my dear bandits, I'll give you guys a small treat soon ya? :P
thought out by marianah at 9:38 PM
